I’ve lived a short-term life. Focusing on three to five-year incremental plans to life. Sometimes shorter. At one point in my life, I moved eleven times in the span of three years. While I had long-term goals the horizon also appeared a bit hazy. Short-term leases. Month-to-month contracts. Pay-as-you-go phone plans. The homes I purchased were done with the intention to use them as rental properties should I relocate in the future. I doubled up on car payments to create equity that could be realized if/when a sale was necessary. No major purchases. I’ve long wondered if majoring in accountancy, an incredibly portable degree, was a subconscious decision to pursue a nomadic career. Few investments in long-term relationships – to a detriment. Everything in my life could fit in a sedan. The essentials in a 40L backpack.
Then you have a kid.
There’s a pivot from compartmentalizing my life opening another to limitless possibilities. The three-to-five-year plan becomes a fifty-year horizon with education-related increments: starting preschool, elementary school, high-school, and college. There’s been an obscurity associated with saving for retirement that’s over forty years away; now compared with a laser focus on college savings. Rental properties that will fund my retirement have a designated heir. There’s no turning back. No wiping your hands clean and unwinding the process of parenthood.
Decisions ranging from safety to physical development to education to everything – all run through a filter that considers another person first. Furniture is rearranged. Lunch includes a trip to the playground. Quickly ascertain the differences between Montessori vs. Waldorf vs. Reggio Emilia vs. is it all insane? It is. When dining at a restaurant, the order is not necessarily what I want to eat, but whether I can share the meal with Charlotte. Meals aren’t simply a means of nourishment but rather how do instill a lifetime of interest in trying new foods?
The gaze isn’t limited to looking forward. There’s a retrospective element looking back on decisions and events that lead me to this point. A complex web of what ifs from college majors to jobs and the randomness of life. How did I learn about morals? Are traits like honesty, self-motivation, and curiosity innate or developed? I spent a year visiting churches before deciding on becoming a Catholic.
You begin thinking of yourself in terms of your child. Suddenly eating healthy and exercising aren’t aspirational but need to be habitual. There’s a little person that mimics everything you do from brushing your teeth to stomping your feet. Should I be reading a book or scrolling through Instagram?\ You realize that everything you are is passing to another person. That there is no end to parenthood.
Then you have a kid.
There’s a pivot from compartmentalizing my life opening another to limitless possibilities. The three-to-five-year plan becomes a fifty-year horizon with education-related increments: starting preschool, elementary school, high-school, and college. There’s been an obscurity associated with saving for retirement that’s over forty years away; now compared with a laser focus on college savings. Rental properties that will fund my retirement have a designated heir. There’s no turning back. No wiping your hands clean and unwinding the process of parenthood.
Decisions ranging from safety to physical development to education to everything – all run through a filter that considers another person first. Furniture is rearranged. Lunch includes a trip to the playground. Quickly ascertain the differences between Montessori vs. Waldorf vs. Reggio Emilia vs. is it all insane? It is. When dining at a restaurant, the order is not necessarily what I want to eat, but whether I can share the meal with Charlotte. Meals aren’t simply a means of nourishment but rather how do instill a lifetime of interest in trying new foods?
The gaze isn’t limited to looking forward. There’s a retrospective element looking back on decisions and events that lead me to this point. A complex web of what ifs from college majors to jobs and the randomness of life. How did I learn about morals? Are traits like honesty, self-motivation, and curiosity innate or developed? I spent a year visiting churches before deciding on becoming a Catholic.
You begin thinking of yourself in terms of your child. Suddenly eating healthy and exercising aren’t aspirational but need to be habitual. There’s a little person that mimics everything you do from brushing your teeth to stomping your feet. Should I be reading a book or scrolling through Instagram?\ You realize that everything you are is passing to another person. That there is no end to parenthood.