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Charlotte’s first two months were a bit of a blur. Not the fast blur where time flies past but rather a foggy, hazy blur that reduces your drive time. Time seemed to stand still. The first week Charlotte slept. And slept. And slept. Charlotte was initially a night owl, that said we still had to set our alarm to wake her up for night time feedings. There were many nights where she seemed to catch a second wind around 11pm and stay wide awake until 3am. Compounding the unsteady sleeping was that she refused to sleep on her back preferring instead to cozy up on our chests – she literally outgrew this behavior. You’d think she was a sleep but as soon as her head went face up, parallel to the bed she began wailing. Even at the 120-day mark, I’d experiment with laying her down to sleep or putting in her bounder and as soon as she reached a 30 degree angle her lips started to quiver – at 10 degrees the crying started. I worried about what the sleeping schedule would be like when we returned home, when three hours ahead meant 11pm became 2am, but Charlotte quickly adjusted to her east coast time zone.
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Sleeping aside, Charlotte has been a relatively easy baby to take care of…knock on wood. She’s had no issues drinking from the bottle, except for interment spurts where she drinks too fast or the opposite seems to play with her bottle by simply blowing air or putting her fingers in her mouth while she drinks. A trial-and-error approach led us to favoring the Nuk and Dr. Brown bottles with us ultimately landing on the Dr. Brown brand because of a built-in air tube that slows down her eating and leaves her with a calmer stomach. We mixed and match formula, and other than one specialty formula that proclaimed to not leave the baby with an upset stomach, Charlotte will drink whatever is put in front of her. We are fortunate that Charlotte hasn’t needed any specialty dietic formulas which were tough to find, even before the baby formula shortage.
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Charlotte was born with jaundice – I had jaundice, my brother had jaundice, and it showed up as a genetic “red flag” during embryo screening – so it was not a surprise when the hospital told us of this diagnosis. I wish we had discussed how to handle Charlotte’s jaundice (bringing her home vs. leaving her for an extra day or two in the hospital) before birth. We decided to bring her home and swaddle her in an ultraviolet light for twelve hours a day for the first week. Several trips back to the hospital facilities confirmed that her bilirubin levels had begun to normalize and the ultraviolet light was no longer necessary.
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When Charlotte cries it’s one of three things, either she’s 1) hungry, 2) needs a diaper change, or 3) struggling to get into a comfortable sleep position. While we may struggle to get into a routine, knowing her routine, determines the reason for the crying, and therefore knowing how to best address the crying – the only shortcoming being when it’s only one parent and that parent isn’t aware the timing of the last feeding. Charlotte tends to drink 4-6 oz. every four hours, so if she drank at 10am and starts crying at 11am a quick diaper check shows she hasn’t peed (there’s a blue line now that serves as an indicator, so you don’t even need to remove the diaper to check), you let her cry for about five minutes and help her get into a comfortable sleep position.
The first time I made Charlotte cry, other than brushing her leg against a door, was when I yelled at Annie to be quiet. It was a slow motion move to tears. Her bottom lip started to quiver, the lifted up to cover her top lift, then the crying followed by tears. For the first few weeks, I’d be nervous holding her because she felt so delicate and had this natural flaying ability where it seemed she could go flying out of your arms with a jerk of her head.
Measurements at doctor’s visits indicated that Charlotte was growing in length and weight at an appropriate rate. For the first few weeks it was difficult to see progress but by the 90-day mark she began to feel noticeably heavier day after day. The car seat went from being light and holding with one hand to being a two-handed carry.
The first time I made Charlotte cry, other than brushing her leg against a door, was when I yelled at Annie to be quiet. It was a slow motion move to tears. Her bottom lip started to quiver, the lifted up to cover her top lift, then the crying followed by tears. For the first few weeks, I’d be nervous holding her because she felt so delicate and had this natural flaying ability where it seemed she could go flying out of your arms with a jerk of her head.
Measurements at doctor’s visits indicated that Charlotte was growing in length and weight at an appropriate rate. For the first few weeks it was difficult to see progress but by the 90-day mark she began to feel noticeably heavier day after day. The car seat went from being light and holding with one hand to being a two-handed carry.
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We purchased an activity play mat and became super excited the first time that Charlotte began to swing at the hanging mobiles. I also ordered a few Montessori-type flash cards online. I read a lot on the different early childhood learning philosophies, compared Montessori with Waldorf and Reggio, and walk away thinking that the real key is communicating and spending time with your child, which seems to be universally supported. While I don’t believe the hype surrounding the Montessori products, I do believe it gives you something to do with the baby. By the 30-day mark, Charlotte could be awake for two hours at a time and it felt like a waste to have her slung over my shoulder while I binge watched Cobra Kai. The flash cards were a conversation starter for us to begin dialogue.
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Charlotte was a very serious baby. She had very stern faces. I half joke but when people would say that Charlotte looks like me, I’d so no way, she looks like Winston Churchill, particularly before her chin began to develop. Other times, depending upon how her hair was falling, I thought she looked like Napoleon. An early favorite resting position involved proper her head up with her right hand, which is a favorite pose of mine, and from what I’m told, my grandfather, so it must be an innate, genetic reflex.
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My parent’s flew out to meet Charlotte around the six week mark. My brother flew in from Bangkok a week later. We were able to get a few photos of all the family members together before we returned to Philadelphia.
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At the 60-day mark, Charlotte began to smile a bit more but this was more of a reflex. It wasn’t until the 90-day mark that she was smiling, knew when to smile, and smiling for the right reasons. However, we still had to be quick with the camera. Once you missed those initial greeting smiles Charlotte could turn quite serious and contemplative again.
The third month went by quick. We started with a Charlotte’s first road trip to Phoenix. Her first hotel stay was in Blythe, California, which is as exciting as it sounds, but in Phoenix we stayed at a resort-style hotel in the Old Scottsdale area. Charlotte spent a few minutes at the pool in her flamingo bathing suit.
I had been stressed out about flying Charlotte home since before she was even an embryo. We made several logistical decisions to make the cross-country flight as painless as possible. We arranged car services from the hotel to the airport and from the airport to home. This largely eliminated the need for us to carry luggage around the airport. I had a mini panic attacked when a ticket agent suggested our $1,000 stroller was too heavy for the plane and that we’d need to check it before security. I stated that we were paying for a seat for Charlotte and demonstrated that the car seat removed from the stroller which brought the strollers weight limit below the threshold. In addition to paying for a seat for Charlotte, I didn’t mess around with the seat assignments, and paid the fee so that the three of us could be seated in the same row in the front of the plane. We were able to board early and check the stroller at the gate. There were no issues hooking up the car seat. Charlotte was asleep before takeoff and slept for most of the flight. Only one diaper change was needed but because it was only one, quite a soaking took place while Charlotte slept. The only headache was that we hit a wall of traffic heading north on the Blue Route, which was unusual for a mid-afternoon Wednesday.
The third month went by quick. We started with a Charlotte’s first road trip to Phoenix. Her first hotel stay was in Blythe, California, which is as exciting as it sounds, but in Phoenix we stayed at a resort-style hotel in the Old Scottsdale area. Charlotte spent a few minutes at the pool in her flamingo bathing suit.
I had been stressed out about flying Charlotte home since before she was even an embryo. We made several logistical decisions to make the cross-country flight as painless as possible. We arranged car services from the hotel to the airport and from the airport to home. This largely eliminated the need for us to carry luggage around the airport. I had a mini panic attacked when a ticket agent suggested our $1,000 stroller was too heavy for the plane and that we’d need to check it before security. I stated that we were paying for a seat for Charlotte and demonstrated that the car seat removed from the stroller which brought the strollers weight limit below the threshold. In addition to paying for a seat for Charlotte, I didn’t mess around with the seat assignments, and paid the fee so that the three of us could be seated in the same row in the front of the plane. We were able to board early and check the stroller at the gate. There were no issues hooking up the car seat. Charlotte was asleep before takeoff and slept for most of the flight. Only one diaper change was needed but because it was only one, quite a soaking took place while Charlotte slept. The only headache was that we hit a wall of traffic heading north on the Blue Route, which was unusual for a mid-afternoon Wednesday.
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It was nice to finally be home. Charlotte’s crib was a nice welcome. I set up a playard in my “office”. We set up a second one in our living. We used a bouncer for temporary set ups in the bedroom and dining/kitchen areas. Everything started to come together.
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