If you are traveling through Southeast Asian you eventually make your way to Phuket. It's the Rome of Southeast Asian in that all travel routes eventually lead or pass through Phuket. It has an international airport. There's people arriving from around the world. And it's just ok. Ko Phi Phi is awesome. Krabi is awesome. Phuket. Eh.
BANGLA ROAD
Phuket -> Patong -> Bangla Road - if someone says they’re going to Phuket, they mean Patong, more specifically they mean Bangla Road. I suppose it’s possible to visit Phuket, take a day trip cruising between Phang Nga Bay limestone islands, and skip over Bangla Road…but that’d be like a first time visitor to Paris seeing the Mona Lisa but not the Eiffel Tower.
Phuket’s not quite “When in Rome, do as the Romans”…more like “When in Thailand, do as the Australians.” So in Australian fashion I found a seat at Aussie Bar to enjoy a few afternoon Chang beers and watch some Aussie Rules football and Rugby. Bangla Road was quite tame but the enormous bar complexes gave a clear indication of the wildness that could ensue later at night. After a few beers I took a walk along the beach, enjoyed an oceanside meal, and then headed back to the hostel for a rest before the night’s revelry.
Phuket’s not quite “When in Rome, do as the Romans”…more like “When in Thailand, do as the Australians.” So in Australian fashion I found a seat at Aussie Bar to enjoy a few afternoon Chang beers and watch some Aussie Rules football and Rugby. Bangla Road was quite tame but the enormous bar complexes gave a clear indication of the wildness that could ensue later at night. After a few beers I took a walk along the beach, enjoyed an oceanside meal, and then headed back to the hostel for a rest before the night’s revelry.
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PHANG NGA BAY
I had one full day in Phuket and decided to make the most of it by joining a cruise through Phang Nga Bay - technically the bay is in Krabi province, but the cruise left from Phuket. The first stop on the tour was and island with a cave that could be walked through at low tide. The far end of the cave opened up to a small muddy bug with a few trees and a mudskipper sort of fish / amphibian.
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The next stop was a thirty minute kayaking excursion around another limestone island. Rather than have a guide paddle me around, the guide offered his kayak and I went off on my own and completed a much larger circuit all the way around the island instead of sticking to the inlet and coves of the others. On the way to lunch we passed the infamous James Bond island - a single tall outcrop that barely fits the definition of an island. Lunch was at stilt village.
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After lunch we went on a tour of a stilt village which was then followed by the best part of the tour. The boat dropped anchor about two hundred meters off the coast and everyone on board jumped off the boat into the water. The jumps were exhilarating but the experience was great because it felt like this is what you would do if you personally owned the boat. If I ever return as part of a group I would do this the entire day.
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For additional Phuket / Krabi photos see FLICKR ALBUM.
BREAKING LADY BOYS' HEARTS
Around ten I made the short walk back to Bangla Road and found a transformed street. The road had been barricaded to vehicles and pedestrians crowded the street. An initial pass along the street and it was still tamer than I was expecting - I recall walking along Bourbon Street several years ago and Bangla Road seemed less overt. There parents pushing baby strollers and while slightly out of place it didn’t rise to a level of absurdity.
There were street performers, ladyboys dressed in Carnival style costumes posing for photos, touts selling tickets to ping pong shows, and scantily clad women but it felt more like being at Super Bowl style spectator event then on the front porch of an active sex tourism industry.
Unique to Bangla Road are “complexes” which house a series of smaller, individual bars each with their own bartenders and “dancers”. After a few walks up and down the street I made my way into one of the complexes. I didn’t check the name on the entrance, but the place I selected had these huge Tiger sculptures protruding from the face of the building - on a street where the bars may blend together this building stood out. From the outside it seemed to continue the family friendly vibe on the street - although one step inside and the baby stroller would be immediately spun around to make a quick departure.
Despite the huge crowds on the street, the Tiger Building was still near empty at 10pm. I wandered through the complex and avoided the constant arm tugging of madams trying to pull me into their bar but eventually acquiesced. If you hesitate momentarily within a second you’ll be seated at a bar, Chang in hand, and staring up at the dancer’s ass two feet away from your face. The madam’s polite chit chat soon followed but as happened throughout Thailand the conversational English was quite limited - after the initial “Where are you from?” the conversation turned to your interest in taking bar staff somewhere or at a minimum buying the bar a round of drinks.
I won’t disparage the physical beauty of the bar staff but after one beer it was time to move on, head back to street level, and enjoy the people watching.
The nice thing about Bangla Road is that there are a lot of open air bars with unobstructed views to the people parading up and down the street. I grabbed a seat at another bar to enjoy the people watching. In the one hour and two beers I spent people watching on Bangla Road I saw three of the sexiest women walk by that I had seen during my travels through SE Asia. These women were taller, shapelier (although enhanced), and more provocatively dressed than any of those in the Tiger Building complex. I thought that these must be some of the Thai women you hear so much about although quite content with my Bangla Road people watching seat I felt no inclination to get up.
Later walking back to the hostel I encountered a photo shooting crowd so large that there was no way to not gaze at the attraction. I look up four women are dancing on a stage - three of them are the women I had seen pass earlier on Bangla Road. These women were attractive but even so they weren’t 100 person mob on the street, stop, and take videos attractive. So I stare this time and in the light its now clear that women of these incredible attractive woman has a man’s face. I think oh ok it’s a lady boy but still slow on the uptake I wondered why the other two women were dancing at a lady boys club…and then oh…wow…that’s something…
I’m the sort of person that when impressed with a street performer makes a donation vs. drifting into the crowd after after completion…so rather than stand and take gawking photos like the rest of Bangla Road I had to tip my hat to this bar complex and head in for a drink.
I passed several crowded tables upfront with like minded people - you’re in Phuket, ladyboys are the Eiffel Tower - and found a seat away from the dancers but still in enough proximity to look without drawing attention….or so I thought. The problem with having hair, a slim build, and relatively young age is that the ladyboy’s kind of get their hopes up. I ordered a beer and casually glanced in the direction of the stage…instantly I could feel a gaze of one of the dancers and within less time to look around and give a look back expression of “me?” the dancer had descended from the stage and was making a direct path to my bar stool. There was no sense of shame on my part. Instead I felt a rush of confidence “Yeah…I’m the guy who walks into a ladyboy’s bar and immediately has all the women interested in me.” It happened so quickly and suddenly with the most attractive but also obviously male ladyboy that everyone in the bar starred in my direction. Had I intercepted the ladyboy on her way to me, put my arm around her, and walked out the front of the bar the crowded would have erupted and with my free arm received several high fives on my way out.
Instead I played it smooth. I couldn’t help but at least buy a 200 BAHT cocktail for the dancer but the conversation that ensued was actually quite pleasant. It was a brief conversation but one in which the tables were kind of turned…and the crowd on Bangla Road seemed out of touch. During the conversation I tried to explain the I’m in France, I’m going to see the Eiffel Tower analogy but we still progressed to the point where I was asked if I’d be interested in enjoying a meal at the Eiffel Tower. I stated no, simply seeing it is enough for me. The followup question was - is it because I have a penis - I replied - yep, that’s the reason (I had rattled off several other reasons - I have a girlfriend, I have no money, I’m staying in a hostel and in each case there’s a perfectly crafted and reasonable response.)
The ladyboy did a quick snip of the fingers, pointed at another dancer we had been talking about and now she was on her way to where I was sitting. Yikes. This time I only bought a 100 BAHT drink but despite the lower gift this ladyboy seemed to really be into me. I get it, they’re all into you, but Mona definitely seemed to imply she saw me more as a potential long-term boyfriend than as a client. Despite her limited English vocabulary she clearly understood I wasn’t interested in advancing our relationship but also refused to move on to more eager bar patrons. My attempts to push her away didn’t dissuade the unsolicited touching of my body. Finally I told her it wasn’t going to happen and she’d be better off spending her time with a more receptive bar patron. Thinking our time together had ended I turned away when suddenly her lips came into contact with mine. It was brief…but when I came to there was Mona smiling at me and then she walked off.
I pushed the boundaries of “I’ll do anything once” and headed back to Bangla Road and the short walk back to the hostel (alone if that wasn’t clear).
There were street performers, ladyboys dressed in Carnival style costumes posing for photos, touts selling tickets to ping pong shows, and scantily clad women but it felt more like being at Super Bowl style spectator event then on the front porch of an active sex tourism industry.
Unique to Bangla Road are “complexes” which house a series of smaller, individual bars each with their own bartenders and “dancers”. After a few walks up and down the street I made my way into one of the complexes. I didn’t check the name on the entrance, but the place I selected had these huge Tiger sculptures protruding from the face of the building - on a street where the bars may blend together this building stood out. From the outside it seemed to continue the family friendly vibe on the street - although one step inside and the baby stroller would be immediately spun around to make a quick departure.
Despite the huge crowds on the street, the Tiger Building was still near empty at 10pm. I wandered through the complex and avoided the constant arm tugging of madams trying to pull me into their bar but eventually acquiesced. If you hesitate momentarily within a second you’ll be seated at a bar, Chang in hand, and staring up at the dancer’s ass two feet away from your face. The madam’s polite chit chat soon followed but as happened throughout Thailand the conversational English was quite limited - after the initial “Where are you from?” the conversation turned to your interest in taking bar staff somewhere or at a minimum buying the bar a round of drinks.
I won’t disparage the physical beauty of the bar staff but after one beer it was time to move on, head back to street level, and enjoy the people watching.
The nice thing about Bangla Road is that there are a lot of open air bars with unobstructed views to the people parading up and down the street. I grabbed a seat at another bar to enjoy the people watching. In the one hour and two beers I spent people watching on Bangla Road I saw three of the sexiest women walk by that I had seen during my travels through SE Asia. These women were taller, shapelier (although enhanced), and more provocatively dressed than any of those in the Tiger Building complex. I thought that these must be some of the Thai women you hear so much about although quite content with my Bangla Road people watching seat I felt no inclination to get up.
Later walking back to the hostel I encountered a photo shooting crowd so large that there was no way to not gaze at the attraction. I look up four women are dancing on a stage - three of them are the women I had seen pass earlier on Bangla Road. These women were attractive but even so they weren’t 100 person mob on the street, stop, and take videos attractive. So I stare this time and in the light its now clear that women of these incredible attractive woman has a man’s face. I think oh ok it’s a lady boy but still slow on the uptake I wondered why the other two women were dancing at a lady boys club…and then oh…wow…that’s something…
I’m the sort of person that when impressed with a street performer makes a donation vs. drifting into the crowd after after completion…so rather than stand and take gawking photos like the rest of Bangla Road I had to tip my hat to this bar complex and head in for a drink.
I passed several crowded tables upfront with like minded people - you’re in Phuket, ladyboys are the Eiffel Tower - and found a seat away from the dancers but still in enough proximity to look without drawing attention….or so I thought. The problem with having hair, a slim build, and relatively young age is that the ladyboy’s kind of get their hopes up. I ordered a beer and casually glanced in the direction of the stage…instantly I could feel a gaze of one of the dancers and within less time to look around and give a look back expression of “me?” the dancer had descended from the stage and was making a direct path to my bar stool. There was no sense of shame on my part. Instead I felt a rush of confidence “Yeah…I’m the guy who walks into a ladyboy’s bar and immediately has all the women interested in me.” It happened so quickly and suddenly with the most attractive but also obviously male ladyboy that everyone in the bar starred in my direction. Had I intercepted the ladyboy on her way to me, put my arm around her, and walked out the front of the bar the crowded would have erupted and with my free arm received several high fives on my way out.
Instead I played it smooth. I couldn’t help but at least buy a 200 BAHT cocktail for the dancer but the conversation that ensued was actually quite pleasant. It was a brief conversation but one in which the tables were kind of turned…and the crowd on Bangla Road seemed out of touch. During the conversation I tried to explain the I’m in France, I’m going to see the Eiffel Tower analogy but we still progressed to the point where I was asked if I’d be interested in enjoying a meal at the Eiffel Tower. I stated no, simply seeing it is enough for me. The followup question was - is it because I have a penis - I replied - yep, that’s the reason (I had rattled off several other reasons - I have a girlfriend, I have no money, I’m staying in a hostel and in each case there’s a perfectly crafted and reasonable response.)
The ladyboy did a quick snip of the fingers, pointed at another dancer we had been talking about and now she was on her way to where I was sitting. Yikes. This time I only bought a 100 BAHT drink but despite the lower gift this ladyboy seemed to really be into me. I get it, they’re all into you, but Mona definitely seemed to imply she saw me more as a potential long-term boyfriend than as a client. Despite her limited English vocabulary she clearly understood I wasn’t interested in advancing our relationship but also refused to move on to more eager bar patrons. My attempts to push her away didn’t dissuade the unsolicited touching of my body. Finally I told her it wasn’t going to happen and she’d be better off spending her time with a more receptive bar patron. Thinking our time together had ended I turned away when suddenly her lips came into contact with mine. It was brief…but when I came to there was Mona smiling at me and then she walked off.
I pushed the boundaries of “I’ll do anything once” and headed back to Bangla Road and the short walk back to the hostel (alone if that wasn’t clear).