It's the weather. That is the only possible explanation as to why anyone would subject themselves to living here.
Useful Links:
- LA Weekly - 99 Things to Eat in Los Angeles Before You Die (I go back to this site time and time again. It's a wonderful and comprehensive list of all of Los Angeles not just the West Side or hip areas.)
LOS ANGELES SUBPAGES
AN ODE TO LOS ANGELES
To understand Los Angeles is to understand Los Angeles drivers.
Los Angeles drivers operate with a simple mindset: To the far left lane. Talk on the phone. Stop paying attention to the road. Traffic is so bad it’s no wonder drivers have taken a defeatist attitude, abandoned driving over the speed limit, and dropped common courtesies like keep right, pass left.
If you do pay attention while driving on Los Angeles freeways you will perform the “boomerang” move several times while traveling between the sub-cities that dot the Los Angeles suburbs. The boomerang move? On a typical four lane Los Angeles freeway that will be five cars in the left lane, three in the left middle, one in the right middle, and none in the far right lane. If you are in the left lane, to pass this group of cars you need to swing across three lanes of traffic, speed along the right lane, then swing back to the left lane to allow cars to merge onto the freeway.
Left hand lanes are a disaster zone on Los Angeles freeways. Drivers cut through lanes to reach the HOV lane. Then cut back across to exit the freeway. The HOV lane is not limited to cars. Los Angeles Metro buses? Come on in. Greyhound buses? Come on in. If you need to nearly cause an accident reaching the HOV lane, nearly cause an accident. And when you reach the HOV lane? Drive five below the speed limit. Just because.
Four lane freeways sound like a lot of lanes but tractor trailers clog up the right two lanes, so the four lane freeway is really a two lane freeway. Then there are tractor trailers I’ve never seen before on freeways - open container trailers hauling minerals that have been excavated from quarries. And they are always double trailers. And they are always driving ten miles per hour below the speed limit.
Then there’s the old people on freeways. It’s frustrating being stuck behind an old person on single lane roads on the east coast but it’s not dangerous. Eighty year olds don’t find their way onto East Coast freeways during rush hour. In Los Angeles they need to use the freeways because that’s the only option.
Then there’s the Mexican yard trucks. There’re people who are moving. Constantly. There’s a Penske truck in the left middle lane. Why? Because who knows. Then there’re the movers who forgo the Penske and use their personal automobile. Look out there’s an air conditioning unit in the middle lane of the 105. How can you tell a driver is on their way back from Bear Mountain? Because there’s a pack of snow nine inches high on the roof of their car and every driver behind them slams on their brakes whenever a chunk of snow slides off. That’s how you know.
Lost with the rage that comes with traffic on Los Angeles freeways are the other headaches associated with the area’s surface streets—the local, non-freeways. The first time you enter the left hand lane to make a turn a major intersection in Los Angeles…no left hand turn signals. You take your life in your hands make a left from Melrose Avenue onto Highland. Or you sit and wait through five traffic signal cycles. Then there finally is a break in traffic and oops there’s a homeless person just chilling in the crosswalk. He’s got nowhere to go. It’s not as though the non-homeless are any better. The slowest group of walkers, the ones who barely place one foot in front of another, Los Angeles walkers. The walk light will be on for thirty seconds and they will take the full thirty seconds to cross the street. I have been at intersections where I was the fifth car inline and it took three cycles to make a right hand turn. Angelinos are in no hurry.
Then you finally reach an intersection with a left hand turn signal. And you are sitting there, and you are sitting there, and you are sitting there, and no cars are approaching. There’s no cars anywhere except for you sitting at a red light on the left hand traffic signal. For two minutes. And you think, have these people not heard of a left hand turn, yield on green light? Of course they haven't heard of this.
Then you get the green light. Travel a block and boom, another red light. Then green light. Another block. Boom, another red light. The concept of synced lights is also apparently lost on Los Angeles traffic coordinators. And drivers, who live in these communities and are aware of the unsynced lights, haven’t put it together that if they just drove five miles over the speed limit they’d be able to string to green lights together in a row instead of constantly starting and stopping.
Los Angeles has surface streets that are three lanes during rush hour but two lanes at other times of the day—the right lane becomes available to park your car. You already know what I’m going to type next. Invariable people park in these lanes during rush hour. And traffic is brutal 24/7 so there’s no inherent reason to turn the lane into parking to begin with.
You will need gas at some point while driving in Los Angeles. Gas prices in Los Angeles are amongst the highest in the nation which has resulted in gas prices with significant variances from one station to the next. There was a gas station I passed to and from work that had prices $0.30 cheaper than gas stations closer to home. You will also see a price for $3.70 per gallon…oh but that’s the cash price. The credit price is $3.90. Then there’s Arco doing their own little thing. They list a price for $3.70. You scan and don’t see any crazy bump for the credit card price. Finally. Somebody with a rational mind. Oh no. You pull up on the pump is a sign saying “Debit Card Only”. I’ve actually had to drive to a different station before because I didn’t have funds on my debit card. Awesome. Then you go to pay with your debit card and what does Arco do? They charge you $0.35 to use your credit card. Because of course they do.
You finally reach the destination and…
If freeways are fouled up. If surface streets are fouled up. If gas stations are fouled up. Obviously parking is fouled up.
I’ll start with meters. Los Angeles street parking spots have a gap between every two spots. A gap that is wide enough so that drivers can pull in headfirst to any parking spot because apparently Angelinos can’t be bothered to parallel park. The result is that on any given city block, there’s three less parking spaces than there should be because of these car length gaps that exist for no reason other than Angelinos can't parallel park.
You aren’t that much luckier if your destination has a parking lot. Because land is at a premium parking spots are narrow, the lanes in the parking lot are tight, the parking lots are poorly designed and the result is your as likely to get into an accident in any of these parking lots as you are on the street. And get ready to pay for that parking spot. Even if there's plenty of space, you are still paying for that parking spot. Or for the valet. Los Angeles will never be a cashless society because of the values - it would be too simply to just tack the valet charge and tip onto your restaurant bill but you can't do that because it's Los Angeles and everything needs to be complicated.
But the weather is great.
And that’s Los Angeles.
To understand Los Angeles is to understand Los Angeles drivers.
Los Angeles drivers operate with a simple mindset: To the far left lane. Talk on the phone. Stop paying attention to the road. Traffic is so bad it’s no wonder drivers have taken a defeatist attitude, abandoned driving over the speed limit, and dropped common courtesies like keep right, pass left.
If you do pay attention while driving on Los Angeles freeways you will perform the “boomerang” move several times while traveling between the sub-cities that dot the Los Angeles suburbs. The boomerang move? On a typical four lane Los Angeles freeway that will be five cars in the left lane, three in the left middle, one in the right middle, and none in the far right lane. If you are in the left lane, to pass this group of cars you need to swing across three lanes of traffic, speed along the right lane, then swing back to the left lane to allow cars to merge onto the freeway.
Left hand lanes are a disaster zone on Los Angeles freeways. Drivers cut through lanes to reach the HOV lane. Then cut back across to exit the freeway. The HOV lane is not limited to cars. Los Angeles Metro buses? Come on in. Greyhound buses? Come on in. If you need to nearly cause an accident reaching the HOV lane, nearly cause an accident. And when you reach the HOV lane? Drive five below the speed limit. Just because.
Four lane freeways sound like a lot of lanes but tractor trailers clog up the right two lanes, so the four lane freeway is really a two lane freeway. Then there are tractor trailers I’ve never seen before on freeways - open container trailers hauling minerals that have been excavated from quarries. And they are always double trailers. And they are always driving ten miles per hour below the speed limit.
Then there’s the old people on freeways. It’s frustrating being stuck behind an old person on single lane roads on the east coast but it’s not dangerous. Eighty year olds don’t find their way onto East Coast freeways during rush hour. In Los Angeles they need to use the freeways because that’s the only option.
Then there’s the Mexican yard trucks. There’re people who are moving. Constantly. There’s a Penske truck in the left middle lane. Why? Because who knows. Then there’re the movers who forgo the Penske and use their personal automobile. Look out there’s an air conditioning unit in the middle lane of the 105. How can you tell a driver is on their way back from Bear Mountain? Because there’s a pack of snow nine inches high on the roof of their car and every driver behind them slams on their brakes whenever a chunk of snow slides off. That’s how you know.
Lost with the rage that comes with traffic on Los Angeles freeways are the other headaches associated with the area’s surface streets—the local, non-freeways. The first time you enter the left hand lane to make a turn a major intersection in Los Angeles…no left hand turn signals. You take your life in your hands make a left from Melrose Avenue onto Highland. Or you sit and wait through five traffic signal cycles. Then there finally is a break in traffic and oops there’s a homeless person just chilling in the crosswalk. He’s got nowhere to go. It’s not as though the non-homeless are any better. The slowest group of walkers, the ones who barely place one foot in front of another, Los Angeles walkers. The walk light will be on for thirty seconds and they will take the full thirty seconds to cross the street. I have been at intersections where I was the fifth car inline and it took three cycles to make a right hand turn. Angelinos are in no hurry.
Then you finally reach an intersection with a left hand turn signal. And you are sitting there, and you are sitting there, and you are sitting there, and no cars are approaching. There’s no cars anywhere except for you sitting at a red light on the left hand traffic signal. For two minutes. And you think, have these people not heard of a left hand turn, yield on green light? Of course they haven't heard of this.
Then you get the green light. Travel a block and boom, another red light. Then green light. Another block. Boom, another red light. The concept of synced lights is also apparently lost on Los Angeles traffic coordinators. And drivers, who live in these communities and are aware of the unsynced lights, haven’t put it together that if they just drove five miles over the speed limit they’d be able to string to green lights together in a row instead of constantly starting and stopping.
Los Angeles has surface streets that are three lanes during rush hour but two lanes at other times of the day—the right lane becomes available to park your car. You already know what I’m going to type next. Invariable people park in these lanes during rush hour. And traffic is brutal 24/7 so there’s no inherent reason to turn the lane into parking to begin with.
You will need gas at some point while driving in Los Angeles. Gas prices in Los Angeles are amongst the highest in the nation which has resulted in gas prices with significant variances from one station to the next. There was a gas station I passed to and from work that had prices $0.30 cheaper than gas stations closer to home. You will also see a price for $3.70 per gallon…oh but that’s the cash price. The credit price is $3.90. Then there’s Arco doing their own little thing. They list a price for $3.70. You scan and don’t see any crazy bump for the credit card price. Finally. Somebody with a rational mind. Oh no. You pull up on the pump is a sign saying “Debit Card Only”. I’ve actually had to drive to a different station before because I didn’t have funds on my debit card. Awesome. Then you go to pay with your debit card and what does Arco do? They charge you $0.35 to use your credit card. Because of course they do.
You finally reach the destination and…
If freeways are fouled up. If surface streets are fouled up. If gas stations are fouled up. Obviously parking is fouled up.
I’ll start with meters. Los Angeles street parking spots have a gap between every two spots. A gap that is wide enough so that drivers can pull in headfirst to any parking spot because apparently Angelinos can’t be bothered to parallel park. The result is that on any given city block, there’s three less parking spaces than there should be because of these car length gaps that exist for no reason other than Angelinos can't parallel park.
You aren’t that much luckier if your destination has a parking lot. Because land is at a premium parking spots are narrow, the lanes in the parking lot are tight, the parking lots are poorly designed and the result is your as likely to get into an accident in any of these parking lots as you are on the street. And get ready to pay for that parking spot. Even if there's plenty of space, you are still paying for that parking spot. Or for the valet. Los Angeles will never be a cashless society because of the values - it would be too simply to just tack the valet charge and tip onto your restaurant bill but you can't do that because it's Los Angeles and everything needs to be complicated.
But the weather is great.
And that’s Los Angeles.